Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Bug Du Jour

The rain that I expected yesterday didn’t materialize. No chain lube. No solvents. No Baptists to run off. Sigh.

Something funny happened last night, though. My daughter, Lyndsay, had to take some papers over to her boyfriend's house at about 9:30. Mary decided to go along, but she was going to stay in the car. She didn't even wear her shoes. The two of them drove over to Corey's and Lyndsay gave him the papers. On the way home, Lyndsay suddenly felt an insect crawling up her leg inside her jeans! She was in a neighborhood at a stop sign and there's very little traffic late in the evening. She tried to crush the bug, but didn't succeed, so she kicked off her shoes and got out of the car. She stood in the road and peeled off her jeans! Of course, that's the precise moment a jogger turned the corner to discover a half-naked teenage girl standing in the middle of the street! Lyndsay jumped back in the car and roared off. The bug made a clean getaway too.

I was sitting in the living room watching the news when she walked in wearing only her panties and t-shirt. Somehow, I think I shouldn't let the two of them go off together. They're both blonde. But at the very least, I get some interesting stories.

I had a bug encounter too. I inhaled one on the way home. Every cyclist downs a few bugs and most of the time they’re harmless. This one was probably depressed and committed suicide by hurling himself down my throat. Whatever it was, my body didn’t like it. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I coughed incessantly for about 10 minutes. At one point, my throat shut down, making breathing difficult. I gasped for breath, but I didn’t stop pedaling. Go figure. I could have passed out from lack of oxygen, but I wasn’t about to stop pedaling. I don’t know why, and I can’t claim it made any sense, but that’s what I did. When I got home, my voice was raspy. A cup of hot coffee took care of it.

I thought about that bug and the millions just like him while I rode to work this morning. I passed a freshly-killed raccoon and an opossum, as well as unrecognizable lumps of fur and feathers that would have gone unnoticed on the roadside except for the stench. Motor vehicles kill about 40,000 people and millions of animals each year. Cyclists kill a few bugs, but at least we get to eat them.


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